FTW, Observations, ow!


I try not to default to coach mode when friends are talking to me about stuff going on that they’d prefer not be going on. But sometimes, I am a tiny bit of a dumbass and words come out of my mouth that ought noughta. Like the line I delivered yesterday about them being ready to take responsibility for their life.

I do have more compassion than Attila the Hun which is actually why I said what I shouldn’t have said. Especially because I really understand where they are coming from, having been there and done that *. But I forgot that, having left there since I was done with that *, the words “take responsibility” can sound about as unappealing as shoving a firecracker up your nose shortly after lighting the fuse. Responsibility? Um, no thank you… I’m a little busy trying to decide between a razor blade versus a chemical cocktail as viable routes to permanent snoozeville.

See, I can joke about this stuff because, as I mentioned before, I have been there and done that *. And once that * is survived, you get permanent access to make stupid ass wisecracks about end-of-life contemplations in the worldwide comedy club called I Think My Life Is FUBAR. Don’t agree? Kiss my ass. It’s not about irreverence. It’s about the pure fucking glee of coming out the other side of that * without requiring a frontal lobotomy.

Anyway, the words “take responsibility” mean something very different to me now. They are exciting words to me now. They mean that I get to go do stuff. Stuff I want to do because the actions fueling all that luscious responsibility mean that I get to enjoy what my life looks like. Because my life is perfect now and filled with rainbows and unicorns all the time. Pffftttt! Bitch, please! You don’t believe that shit, do you?

Except… perfection is perception. My dream-come-true life is an ever evolving growth process. Just when I think I’m fully awake to it, I learn something new and level up. This life creation stuff is constant work. (Ew, work! Another dirty word!) But it’s work that lights me up, not the drudgery kind of work that comes from being somebody besides me but the work that makes me a better me. I hope I keep working (on me and on waking other people up ‘cause that’s what I do) until the day I drop dead because, having been there and done that *,  I now know how glorious life is. Even when the cat has thrown up on the couch or whatever bullshit goes down on any given day.

Life is a game. Play it hard or play it soft but for fuck’s sake, PLAY it!

When you’re ready. When you are done with being there and doing that *.

In the meantime, just know – and yes, I am about to go cliche on your ass – this too shall pass.


*Disclaimer: Your that may not be the same as my that. All thats are individual. But all thats are universal in that they all seem to suck mightily while you’re in the that.


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