Two house payments in. God, the closing – moving – painting – making a piece of jewelry for $$ in the middle of everything – all of it was SO intense. I got the kitchen pretty much done, most of the stuff unpacked except knick-knacks and then STOPPED. I was simply exhausted. I’m coming out of it now which is a good thing as I still need to paint the living room, my bedroom, the hallway, the dining room and my bathroom as well.
The last couple of days, I’ve noticed that I am damn hard on myself. What is that word? Flogging? Yeah, that’s the one. I’m not doing enough. I haven’t accomplished enough. How I spend my time isn’t making enough of an impact. I’m not pushing myself hard enough. Jesus, the mad-brain-monster just will not shut the fuck up! And I’m tired of it. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing but this “flogging” thing has got to go. Maybe I’m not doing enough but I think I would have better luck changing that then wasting all my energy “flogging” myself. There’s a to-do list. There’s stuff I want to do. Nobody is going to haul me off to decorating jail if I don’t paint my house in 2 days; Now if it’s not painted in two years, then I’ll gladly don the handcuffs. But in the meantime, I’m going to try putting the whip down for a little while.